One of
the things that I am asked frequently is:
How
do I read a woman's body language?
How
can I tell if she's "into" me?
First
of all, before I give you the inside detail on reading this
area of physiology, I want to caution you that if you're
spending a lot of time "reading" into a woman's appearance
rather than creating the vibe of the interaction, you're
probably focusing on the wrong areas.
If a
woman is interested in you, you should be able to figure
this out by her overall interest in the conversation. If she
is still there chatting with you, she's at least a little
interested. Just don't get caught up in the trap of
interpreting her more than you create the attraction
proactively. Your role as an
Alpha Man is to take control of the interaction and lead
it where it needs to go.
Now, if
you're in the conversation with a woman, but you're still a
bit unclear about her interest level in you, or wondering if
she's just be trying to be polite, here are some things to
watch for. These are positive indications of interest (IOIs)
from her:
1) She's preening.
Preening
is when she's doing things to improve her appearance to you,
such as thrusting her chest out, moistening her lips, adjust
her hair, straighten her clothes, and so on. When a woman is
interested in a man, she will subconsciously become a bit
insecure about her appearance and start fixing it.
While
she may not pull out a brush and mirror, she will do some
small things, such as leave to use the bathroom, but come
back looking better, maybe with a new coat of lip gloss.
2) She's keeping good eye contact and smiling fairly
frequently.
Good eye
contact means that she's not constantly scanning the room,
or looking to her friends that may be with her. If she isn't
looking at you for a significant part of your interaction,
you'd better move along.
When you
say something funny, does she smile? Does she laugh? Watch
for a token smile from her that is sincere.
How can
you tell if a smile is real or not? A real smile will make
her eyes squint a little. Watch for this key indicator.
3) Her body language is open and loose.
This
means that her arms aren't crossed in front of her, and
she's not turned away from you too far.
A woman
will also play with proxemics during the course of your
interaction. Proxemics are the interplay of distance between
you and her, and how she uses it. Is she leaning in or
pulling away? Does she pull back when you come within her
personal "bubble?"
There
are some tests you can do to see how comfortable she is
feeling with you: At some point during the conversation,
make an excuse to change positions from one side of her to
another if you can. When you do, gently reposition her with
your hands on her upper back and arm. If she shrinks away,
you've got some work to do.
If not,
Game On!
4) She touches you.
This one
should be obvious, but it isn't for a lot of guys. We tend
to disqualify signs like this when they happen because it
seems almost too forward and incongruous. In reality, a
woman will touch your arm in some way if she's finding you
attractive. This usually happens at a
high point, like when she's made to
laugh about something.
Social
conventions rule how a woman will express her interest in
you, and touching is one of the few ways that she will
display interest. So when it comes, you should accept it as
a genuine sign - but continue unfazed in your conversation.
If you
watch closely, you'll see many other physical cues that
indicate whether or not a woman is into the conversation
with you. They're subtle, but observable. The most important
thing you can do, however, is to not get too caught up in
the details. If you're paying too much attention to the
little things, you'll appear shaky and lacking confidence.
Just
relax and pay attention to the feel of the conversation
rather than look too hard for 'signs' to tell you what to
do.
Remember:
Don't wait for opportunity; MAKE IT for
yourself. This is the
Alpha way.
I hope
this helps you understand a little more about the physical
dynamics and interplay of body language between women.
There's
a lot more information on reading body language that I cover
in
Approach Her NOW. This program is a 4 CD set with e-book
that will give you ALL the skills you need to walk up to
women and get phone numbers and dates consistently. These
are
the techniques I use and show my students, and I'm
sharing all the inside secrets in this program.
You can
check it out by clicking here:
Approach Women
Talk to
you again soon....
Carlos Xuma